A Man of His Words

A step into the Coronary Care Unit sent shivers down my spine. A few more steps into the room, patients can be seen lying in their respective beds, without spirit and energy. So weak, even reaching for an object a few centimeters away seems impossible for them.

Standing beside his bed, water started to fill in my eyes, for my heart was aching, aching so badly as if thousands of needles were poking it but weren't allowed to express how painful it was. But still, tears did not flow down for a smile could give him the courage to combat the current situation and the will to live on.

Dialysis tube were inserted into his neck, a tube was inserted into his nose to the stomach to remove dirty blood from his stomach, and a few more tubes which I was uncertain what their functions were. Blood had to be taken from time to time to make sure everything went well, and this means needles were poked into his flesh for uncountable times.

It was a heart aching scene. His hands were ice cold and so were his legs. I held his hands, and he held mine as tight as possible. At some time, he would squeeze my hand for a while, as if he were telling me he was very excited, glad and joyful to see me standing beside him, comforting him and giving him support. He didn't have the energy to speak, thus he could only nod his head and hold on tightly to my hand.

It was time to leave, yet he wouldn't want to let go off my hand. Once I released my hands, his limbs were trembling and shaking. All these are still so fresh in my head, and it will be in my head for the rest of my life. Thinking of it causes me to tear, I can feel how much he loves me, and I too, will love him for the rest of my life.

4am in the morning, we received a call. We were told that he was getting weaker. Heartbeat lowered from 70 to 30 beats. We got out off our bed and rushed our way to the hospital. Barely quarter of the distance there, the phone rang, and he left.

It was a good thing he left, for he does not need to suffer anymore longer.
It was also a bad thing he left, for everything we do now will not be the same already, and one person missing in this family makes a huge difference to everyone.

You will always and forever be in my heart.
I love u, Grampa.

He smiled...
When he heard that I was on my way back to visit him...
Although I didn't get the chance to see that final smile on his face...
But that smile, that particular smile, meant a lot to me...